• Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
  • The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
  • It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to take the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
  • We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
  • Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
  • Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  • It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  • If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  • If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
  • Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
  • Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
  • If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  • Don't squat with your spurs on.
  • Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
  • Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
  • There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
  • Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  • Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.